I recently received a copy of the video, “Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think” from Parenting Made Practical for review. In this video, parent educators Joey and Carla Link share their biblically based methods for communicating with your children and provide tips on tips on how you can tame your inner lecture bug with your own family.
With a background in youth ministry and social work, this couple has ministered to families for over two decades. They also serve as National Ministry Overseers with the international parenting organization, Growing Families Int’l. The Links are the parents of three adult children and have four grandchildren. Their goal with Parenting Made Practical is to encourage and equip parents to practically raise obedient, respectful, and responsible children in today’s world.
I do have some issues with this video. While I can relate to the opening example of children not putting their clean laundry away and Joey’s point that allowing small things to go by can lead to bigger issues, I was very uncomfortable with Joey’s comparing this to the Jerry Sandusky scandal and convictions as an example of this. I have to say I did have a tough time pushing past this to watch the rest of the video but I’m glad I did.
While I don’t agree with everything in this video, there are a number of ideas (and reminders) of how we can better relate to our children and get to the “why” of an issue whether it be them avoiding responsibilities or them misbehaving. Parents may also find it helpful to learn the difference between Curiosity, Comprehension, and Challenge questions and how we need to be mindful of our tone when asking them in order to get to the heart of the issue.
Joey demonstrates how easy it is to fall to lecturing rather than finding out why they had done what they did (or didn’t do) and teaching them why their actions were not appropriate or acceptable. He then compares this action to using questions and shows us how taking the time to think about our actions can pay off in the long term.
Carla explains why both our child and ourselves must find our “happy attitudes” before we can rationally discuss these issues while Joey demonstrates what can happen if we don’t come to the conversation in a calm state of mind. She also reminds us that if we are asking our children to do certain household tasks we need to be sure we have explained how we would like these things to be done. Seems simple but how often do we forget this step.
When our girls were little we had a “time-out” spot in the kitchen (my gramma’s old vacuum cleaner chest) where they could sit by the sunny window and settle themselves down before we talked about whatever had gone wrong. This gave both of us time to calm down and helped to avoid a lot of tears and raised voices that wouldn’t have been productive at all.
Although I have taken away a few points from this video, it wasn’t a good fit for our family due to some of the dialogue.
To see if it will be a good fit for your family and to read more reviews for this product and others from Parenting Made Practical, click on the link below.